How bad was last night? It was dropped your last pint bad. It was lost your brand new phone bad. It was I’ve travelled 88 stops on the bus to watch Dulwich Hamlet throw away a victory bad. And trust me, that’s bad.
But first the good news: Cray Valley share a rather pleasant ground with Greenwich Borough, with a modern, comfortable bar and just enough shelter to house their modest crowds.
I do love a good turnstile legend and this one was truly splendid, reading:
Delucies Patent Rush Preventative Turnstile.
Sole Makers W T Ellison & Co Limited, Irlams- O-Th-Height, Manchester.
The ever useful Grace’s Guide informs me that the Rush Preventive Turnstile was patented in England February 19, 1892.
Like a coiled cobra, the wonderfully pointless Players Tunnel is posed to unleash itself.
At the tea bar. Veggie options = 0. In my world the home team should be docked two goals for that.
Condiment table action shot.
And so to the football. If it’s alright with you lot, I’d rather not talk about it too much because it’s all a bit depressing, but to condense it down:
First half: Hamlet totally dominant. Went 2-0 up. Looked like an easy win was in the bag.
Second half: Cray come out fighting. Hamlet saunter around the park as if the win is already in the bag. There’s millions of corners. Hamlet can’t score. Cray managed to score two to extend the agony into extra time.
Extra time: It slowly dawns on the Hamlet players that the big juicy home cup final tie is slowly slipping from their grasp. Cray score a third. Hamlet have another million or so corners but are unable to score leading Cray’s already annoying goalkeeper to extend his repertoire of smugness further.
Final whistle: I scarper at high speed to get back to the comfort blanket of a Brixton pub. It is 44 bus stops away. I am not happy.
Hamlet go 0-1 up.
Hamlet go 0-2 up. I should have left at this point.
Some stitching work needed.
The have An Actual Electrified Fence!
Fortress like fencing.
The Press Box was astounding. Two normal seats with a plank of wood to rest a notebook.
Behind the goals was some kind of sluice arrangement. It looked more interesting than the game.
Their overly-pumped up goalie caused some considerable mirth when he emitted a bizarre “Wheeeee” noise on the completion of a successful save.
“Wheee!” went the crowd back at him for the remainder of the game.
Dalek bin 2.
The majesty of the AstroTurf Zone.
Curious arrangement in the loo.
Journalist makes note: “Hamlet really are crap tonight.”
A be-helmeted Hamlet fan falls down a deep, narrow hole.
The exasperated Dulwich faithful.
Some Shakespeare perhaps?
A closer look at the (ferret repelling?) electrified fence.
Big lumpy holes in the goalmouth.
Paw marks in the concrete.
The second half begins. It dribbled into extra time and then ended with a sound akin to the last three seconds of very heavy gentleman sitting on a whoppee cushion.
Full time – Cray Valley 3 Dulwich Hamlet 2. A victory well earned for the hosts.
Get behind the Hamlet!
- Chat about Cray Vallet vs Dulwich Hamlet on the forum
- Official match report
- Dulwich Hamlet FC forum
- Dulwich Hamlet FC songbook – the great chants from Champion Hill
- All the photos and match reports at dulwichhamlet.org
- £10 for Adults
- £4 for Concessions – Seniors – 60+, Teenagers (13-19), Unemployed (JSA), Disability Living Allowance (DLA), NHS Staff, Blue Light Services, Serving Members of the Armed Forces and Full Time Students. (Please bring valid ID)
- Under 13s FREE accompanied by a paying adult