A narrow victory and soup buoyancy ruminations as Dulwich Hamlet progress to quarter finals of What’s-His-Name Cup

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

An old-school crowd of just 321 took in the invigorating winter air at Champion Hill as Dulwich Hamlet took on lower league Faversham in the fabulously obscure ‘Alan Turvey Trophy sponsored by Robert Dyas.’

I should point out that the competition has nothing to do with Kevin Turvey (above). Which is a shame as I suspect it would be a lot more fun.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Anyway, back to the white knuckle experience of the Alan Turvey Trophy sponsored by Robert Dyas.

The first half saw Hamlet once again showing off their splendid work ethic, which involves making as much exertion as possible over fairly rudimentary tasks.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Against the run of play, Rhys Murrell-Williamson made it 1-0 to Hamlet with a cracking goal which I missed completely. But I heard it was great, so you’ll have to imagine it.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Faversham continued to belie their lower league status and were matching Hamlet all the way.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Dulwich managed a few strikes roundabout the goal area but there wasn’t a great deal to get excited about.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Can’t argue with this sticker.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Divot Of The Day.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

The ‘ardcore ‘amlet audience.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Half time: Dulwich 1 Faversham 0.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Barbecue anyone?

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Burger bar snapshot.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Debuting on Tuesday evening was the addition of hot soup at the the bar, something I was most chuffed about.

Priced at £1.50, there was no less than two varieties available; tomato and minestrone, and each came with its own flotilla of breadsticks.

But therein lay a serious problem.

As everyone knows, buoyancy is the force acting opposite the direction of gravity that affects all objects submerged in a fluid.

When an object is placed in a fluid (e.g. the breadsticks in thick soup), the object’s weight pushes down on the fluid while an upward buoyancy force pushes upward on the object, acting against gravity.

In general terms, this buoyancy force can be calculated with the equation Fb = Vs × D × g, where Fb is the buoyancy force, Vs is the submerged volume, D is the density of the fluid the object is submerged in, and g is the force of gravity. []

The problem with the breadsticks was that they weren’t heavy enough to drop to the bottom of the cup, thus necessitating a Spock-like grip to ensure they didn’t fall out of the cup when walking around. So something needs to be done.

I explained all this to the general manager and he seemed very interested in my findings. I expect he kept yawning because he’d had a bad sleep the night before.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

This poster is a LIE!

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

A cornucopia of Hamlet delights awaits in the mega-container.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

You can be sure to find signs scattered about the sidelines at non league clubs.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

There was goal opportunities at both ends in a lively second half.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

The cut down Rabble contingent.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

A passing fan nonchalantly hoofs the ball back into play. Although the insouciant nature of his strike initially impressed, he lost points when the ball disappointingly arced into the top of the goal netting .

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Look at this hoity toity tea wrapper spotted on the terrace. Emperor’s youwhat?

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

The Norman Wisdom sized linesman seemed a nice enough chap.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Hamlet had a goal disallowed, as did Faversham.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

The away end was completely deserted…

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

.., apart from these young girls who had decided to convert the trestle table stands into seats.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

The electronic substitute board awaits its moment.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

What’s the collective noun for a bag full of balls? A cluster? A ballache? All suggestions welcomed.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Bobble of the Day.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Borussia Dortmund are apparently big fans of Adidas footwear.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Hamlet grew stronger through the second half and came close to doubling their lead several times.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

On the 79th minute, Gavin Tomlin got his noggin on a cross by Nathan Green.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

And it thumps into the back of the onion bag. 2-0 to Hamlet!

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

The goalie and defender try to engage Norman Wisdom with a post-goal whinge-a-thon. Norm is having none of it.

Five minutes later, Faversham pulled a goal back to add a bit of unwanted tension, but Hamlet won 2-1 to progress to the quarter finals of the I’ve Forgotten The Name Already Trophy.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

On the forums, posters added their thoughts about the game:

BD: Made hard work of that, they were poor but we didn’t really capitalise, indeed we needed Preston to keep us in it at times.

Defence looked like they had just met for the first time (to be fair they probably had, I didn’t recognise the no 6 on the team sheet and it was a rare start for Quade Taylor.

Yamfam and RMW both looked good in flashes, and combined brilliantly for the first goal. Sekaja can’t get on the end of a byline cross, always seems to just miss the ball.

Gavin clearly wanted to win and used subs to bring on established players rather than trying out new talent (didn’t recognise at least one guy on the bench).

That worked, with the second goal being a 3 sub Clunis-Beaney-Tomlin combo.

Tired finish almost saw Faversham get back into it and a draw wouldnt have been an unfair result.

BH: Thought there were some decent individual performances, but as a team it wasn’t really working (which is understandable given it wasn’t the regular starting XI).
Yamfam certainly has something about him – really likes to get his foot on the ball and be positive, although I felt his final ball let him down at times. A little reminiscent of RMP, I thought.

RMW blew hot and cold again and doesn’t seem to have the blistering pace he had when he first joined us, but he took his goal brilliantly and hopefully that’ll give him a boost. He took an absolute bollocking from Kevin James for “daydreaming” at one point, mind you.

Debayo adds a bit of physicality at the back and made a crucial tackle late on in the second half. As has already been said, though, he and Taylor didn’t seem to be on the same wavelength at times. I thought our stand-out player was Green, who once again was a big threat powering forward down the left.

Faversham really grew in confidence after their goal and if the match had gone on for another 5 minutes I feel they might have got their equaliser. Thankfully, it didn’t.

Dulwich Hamlet grind out a 2-1 victory against Faversham in the Whats-His-Name Cup. Tuesday 10th January 2017

Get behind the Hamlet!

Dulwich Hamlet info:
Dulwich Hamlet Football Club
Champion Hill Stadium
Edgar Kail Way
East Dulwich
LONDON
SE22 8BD
Tel: 020 7274 8707
[Map location]

Admission prices:

  • £10 for Adults
  • £4 for Concessions – Seniors – 60+, Teenagers (13-19), Unemployed (JSA), Disability Living Allowance (DLA), NHS Staff, Blue Light Services, Serving Members of the Armed Forces and Full Time Students. (Please bring valid ID)
  • Under 13s FREE accompanied by a paying adult

Buy season tickets for the 2016/2017 season here

See full fixture list for 2016-17 season